


i love you, cassian.

by feyre_darling



Category: Actors series, acowar - Fandom
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Nestaandcassianbecausetheyaresodamncute, nestaandcassian
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-03
Updated: 2019-06-03
Packaged: 2020-04-07 06:17:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19079209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/feyre_darling/pseuds/feyre_darling
Summary: in which nesta realises something she hadn't ever let herself think about before.





	i love you, cassian.

**Author's Note:**

> all characters/rights go to the lovely sarah j maas, I do not own any of these characters! :)

The first time was on the battlefield.

"I have no regrets in life but this."

Bloodied hands gently cupped her face; the stench of blood and war raging all around them, enveloping them in a shroud of black. His body shook with pain, straining with the effort of even just lifting a hand. The blood. God, there was so much blood, pouring out of him and onto the ground, seeping into the grass, staining her hands and the ground beneath them scarlet. 

"-that we did not have time."

Time. They were running out of time. The air, it was stifling, and Nesta couldn't breathe, couldn't move, couldn't think of anything except the broken body beneath her and the hands on her face and the realisation that he was going to die. He was going to die, and 

I don't want you to die.

Please.  
Please don't let him die.

The King of Hybern's power echoed and danced around them like a dark shadow, the blood still pouring, the screams of the dying getting louder and louder around them. 

"I will find you again"

And as his lips pressed onto hers, just for a second...  
That's when she knew.

I love you.

I love you.

Cassian, I love you. 

But she didn't say it. She didn't say anything at all. She just covered his body with her own, and went still. 

But she knew. Even then, she knew. 

 

Nest lay on her bed, listening. Listening to the laughter echoing from downstairs, warm and rich and deep. First, she heard her sister, and then Rhys. Their laughter filled her up with something she had not felt in a long time. Something she had never felt. 

She didn't have to listen closely to know the other.

And as she lay on her bed, listening, something happened.  
A whisper. Quiet at first, a forgotten melody from somewhere deep within her. The place where she had locked away every emotion she had ever felt and thrown away the key. She didn't intend to ever get it back. 

But as the night went on, as the whisper grew louder and louder in the back of her mind, Nesta began to listen.  
And what she heard terrified her. She couldn't stop it, every attempt to make it go away was futile. 

The laughter was getting quieter now, but the whisper grew and grew, pounding and clawing at her mind in a desperate panic.

Let me out..

I don't want to hear it.

Please, let me out.

No.

Nesta slid off the bed with a thump and drew her knees close to her chest, arms braced, head in her hands. The voice was incessant now. 

Let me out. 

 

Let me out. 

Squirming and writhing, Nesta felt a scream of frustration rise up her throat. She clawed her hair in her hands, the feeling building up and up until she couldn't breathe and was gasping for air and-

Then it was quiet.  
And for the first time, Nesta wanted it back. The voice, the whisper. 

She wanted to listen.  
Because she knew what it was going to say.

I love you, Cassian.

And so that night, she decided to let the voice out.

**Author's Note:**

> here's a little bit of nesta/ cassian for you! set at the end acowar <3


End file.
